sex v romance

It's my pet peeve. I read a romance and it feels like porn. Instead of the heroine being courted, some horny, overzealous stud is talking to her like she's the class tramp and he's a hormonal high schooler.

It's all personal opinion, of course, but I would like to be romanced not propositioned like a street walker. Maybe its why I like historicals. The manners, the more elegant way of speaking, and the societal restraints make the tension more delicious and the hero far more charming than a contemporary. Add to the fact I would like for the love scene to make sense. If I have been kidnapped, beaten and shoved in a box I will be thinking escape not "my you have a nice ass."

In an attempt to up the sensuality levels, some writers forget the wooing, the actual romantic part of the story. The part that makes me sigh and fall in love with the hero.

First is the once over. The first meeting, the first glimpse of the potential lover, or at least the first time the character might think of the person as a potential lover. The face, the physique, the voice all affect the character.

"His deep voice enveloped her in warmth like a mink stole. Had she ever noticed the forest green of his eyes or how a simple thing like a gesture could make her melt."
Again personal preference, but there is sublte then there is:
"Who was the hot girl walking into the bar? his contact? All Jake wanted to do was reach beyond the tightness of her skirt and sink himself into her depths, while she screamed his name"
Too much too soon.

I don't mind a little screaming, but can we get a name first? My heroine deserves to be won. Her love would spring from a respect for the hero, sure he's handsome, but so was Ted Bundy. More than just appearance, his heart should be beautiful and give her something to fall in love with.

The touch of his hand, his nearness, and the first kiss should be memorable. A gentle kiss to her fingers, a cheek brushing the palm of her hand. Tenderness promising more, stoking a fire a step at a time.

Finally, sex is beautiful, there is longing, passion and a loss of control, but above it all there is nurturing, respect, and a platform for love to grow. Women are emotional. Please give me a hero who will like me, really like me, because of who I am not because I have a nice rack. Two people who are strong together and love each other despite who they are. Acceptance. Commitment. It's old fashioned, but its my idea of romance.